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Location:
a Motel 6 in South Carolina. It’s midnight. I see the silhouette
of a suspicious character slumped down in the front seat of a
tricked up Caddy a few parking spaces down. I should make for
the safety of my room but instead I stay put, for just a few
feet away, hovering around the warm red glow of the Coke machine,
is a huge ghostly green Luna Moth. All is silent but for the
dreamy hum of the vending machines and the gentle fluttering
of those luminescent wings. Down in the Caddy I see the faint
halo of a cigarette being sucked on just above the darkened steering
wheel. A moment of pure bliss overtakes me. It’s all about
the seeing, this lonely, lovely esoteric moment.
Location: Navy Boulevard here in West Pensacola. It’s a few weeks later,
and my truck’s broken down near a construction site. While I’m hunched
over the engine trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with it (accelerator
linkage), I overhear the can-do foreman bark out at one of his helpers the phrase
that will eventually become the title of this album. “Drill a hole in that
substrate and tell me what you see!” he bellows. I find myself quietly
laughing—no, maybe sighing in relief. Without knowing it he’s named
some ghost inside my head, but which one? The phrase flutters around in my mind
for days, like that ghostly Luna Moth in the midnight sky of South Carolina.
Flutter flutter flutter. Why do those words stay with me? Finally I get it---it’s
an allegory of the physics of my life; the construction site is my mind, and
the substrate I’ve been drilling holes in is the tangled maze of impressions
that Jesus, poverty, and the loneliness of being raised an outsider in the South
have conspired to lay beneath my feet. Hearing the phrase brings a sigh of relief
because at long last I possess a handy name for the machinery of my existence.
When you can call some such thing by name, often times it gives you a mysterious
and happy kick in the ass, something akin to “power”.
Thinking back, from as far as I can remember, from earliest childhood I’ve
been drilling, looking for something the surface world didn’t provide,
something to make life worth living. Sad, but true. I’d unearth some relic
or mysterious object and call out; “Come see what I found!” but for
the most part not only did people not want to see, but they fled at the very
sound of my voice. In recent years I’ve come to realize that what I was
digging up were artifacts comprised mostly of personal bullshit. No wonder people
were uninterested.
Eventually, like most failed John The Baptists, I resigned myself to the fact
that I’d probably spend my life drilling alone, digging up things of value
to me and me alone. But fate’s the trickster, isn’t it though? Not
long after I truly embraced the notion of a solitary life, I noticed something
that had not happened before---little crowds began gathering around my construction
site. They were watching me drill. But why? Had something changed in my drilling
and seeing? I guess it had.
Soon enough interesting characters began showing up, even offering to help me
in my endeavors. Can you imagine? Someone like Joe Henry appearing and saying “You
need a hand with that drilling?” Can you imagine, after 20 years of solitary
labor, for Aimee Mann, or Chocolate Genius or The Bare Naked Ladies, or The Sadies
to stop you in a hallway or an airport or a gas station and say, “Hey,
you want some help with that drilling, give us a call.” Can you imagine?
What a fucking relief. You work for twenty years, you hope it’s to some
good end.
On this CD here you’ll find disguised in the form of “songs” some
reports that I made about all that drilling I did. At times the sheer number
of folks helping me drill was all but overwhelming. You’ll find their names
listed on the credits page and I’m deeply grateful they took time out fo
their lives to help me. Don’t be fooled by the fact that these reports
are disguised in the form of “songs”, as they are reports about the
state of hidden realms and should be regarded as such. I pray to God that they
have some meaning to you. Otherwise why the hell did I do all that drilling anyway?
Damn, there’s that moth again.
JW
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